Spaceman Lover

I visited the bathroom    as I do every morning

To drain myself from the previous night’s libations

I was shocked when I reached down to hold myself

my penis was gone    nothing but a hole remained

I thought to myself  where did it fall off this time

I felt like a female     what a way to go out I thought

Then I remembered that I have a detachable penis

I must have left it in bed  under my pillow

Or left it hanging next to my neck-ties in the closet

I hoped my girlfriend didn’t have it

She steals it often and doesn’t call me for weeks

The last time I suspected her was a real horror-show

I found space man lover in the litter box all beat up

I called up my girlfriend and begged her please

Help me find my space man lover

That’s the name she gave it     I don’t know why

I wanted to call it worm  bean  or  Frankenstein

She persisted to call it space man lover

She says she sees stars when I’m inside her

Whatever     it’s just sex I said      nothing astronomical

I know I’m good    but it’s just a little of the ol’ in and out

I know she has space man lover   lately she’s been sitting funny

I know that it’s stuffed way inside her panty drawer  

or in the secret pocket of her purse    placed between lipsticks

I know she has it   she’s never been so happy.